It's been a long time since I blogged and although my sojourn into 'the real world' aka full-time work was refreshing, after a while I felt the urge to make my long awaited return to the blogosphere. Somehow though, I couldn't bring myself to click the New Post button and empty my thoughts on to the internet. This wasn't because of any eternal fear of judgement, mainly just my failure to convert emotions into words.
For this change I have to thank Stephen Christian, you write music that moves me and the words of your blog make me feel like i'm not alone in my failure to understand the world and frustration with the people who make it so much harder to live in. Though your expression is far from perfect, it's the imperfection that makes it seem so real.
The biggest change lately is obviously my switch from being the bottom rung on the corporate ladder to running a small business. The decision was fuelled by my desire to make a difference. 3 weeks in and I feel like I am and will continue to learn a lot about how a business runs but as yet, no real difference made. However I now know what it's like to have incompetent people do things for me, my sincerest apologies to all the people I 'helped' at my previous firm.
A few weeks ago I told Darryn about my motives behind my career change and he asked me if I would be willing to take up the job of the underpaid head of an NGO. I don't know the answer to that question yet but I can imagine that when I eventually do, it would strongly reflect the man I am. I've always thought of my career in business as a constant struggle between the hunger for money I see clearly in so many of my peers and the strong ethics and focus on fulfillment which so easily help me navigate the other facets of my life.
'Being a man' used to be a simple milestone in the quest that is life but now it's hit me just how unpredictable this quest is. My life was supposed to be simple:
Go to uni, go on adventures, experience things.
Get a slightly demanding, decently paid job.
Get married somewhere in there.
Right now it feels like the steps 1 and 2 overlap a lot and 1 is no where near as much fun as I thought it would be. But I guess that's mainly because I'm trying to do Step 2 at the same time.
WHICH BRINGS ME TO MULTITASKING! I wish I could do it, if women actually conform to gender stereotypes and are capable of this vital skill then I wish I was a woman, if only they weren't so petty. It would be so cool if I could reallocate my time from studying for uni to taking up my rightful position as Defender of the Free World. I just changed my phone ringtone to the Kim Possible beep, I guess that's at least a step in the right direction.
